


Distraction

by DayLightDove



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves is Alive, Every character tagged is at least mentioned, How Do I Tag, Humor, Klaus being Klaus, OC is just the villain, Vanya did not destroy the world, technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 09:15:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20240437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DayLightDove/pseuds/DayLightDove
Summary: It wasn't that Klaus didn't want to pay attention to whatever villain of the week was monologuing about this time while the academy was currently subdued by their minions. Hell, he wasn't even on anything. He hadn't taken his attention away from the villain because-"Is that seriously your hair?"Oops, guess he said that out loud.





	Distraction

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is a new story.
> 
> So this is my first Umbrella Academy fic and I don't know how accurate I was with the characters because one, these guys are new to me, and two its mostly a short humorous fic. I don't usually do those. Oh well.
> 
> The idea behind this came from me sitting in the room while my family was watching Krypton (the tv show which I don't really watch sooooo) and like this lady who I think was a leader of a large rebel group or something (I don't watch it so I don't know) had like her hair all done up in this complicated, kinda nice but kinda not hair style and I thought, why would you put that much time in your hair in the middle of a rebellion or something. Like I get braiding to keep it better under control (Black widow did that in Endgame) but like this seemed excessive to me. I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking it but than I thought, if Klaus disagreed with a villain's hair/clothes/style, I could so see him commenting on it.
> 
> SO this was born.
> 
> I don't own TUA.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Ok, so you have to understand something here.

It wasn't that Klaus didn't want to pay attention to whatever villain of the week was monologuing about this time while the academy was currently subdued by their minions. Hell, he wasn't even on anything, hasn't been since the whole go back in time and fix up the whole end-of-the-world-caused-by-a-dysfunctional-family-thing. Apparently Klaus, and all of their siblings really, had been included in that decision and now Klaus could say that their family was now slightly more functional than before.

But that's not supposed to be the point here.

No the point was that Klaus was actually trying to listen to this villain-what's-their-name monologue, even if he really didn't care and would absolutely love to just zone out right now. Luther had stressed that they should never take their attention away from their villain, especially if they were monologuing to give the illusion the villain had the upper hand while their minds worked to free themselves from capture. And again, Klaus would happily be figuring out an escape plan without the guards around them catching on, but he just couldn't.

Of course he could argue that he hadn't taken his attention away from the villain because-

"Is that seriously your hair?"

The villain paused at his words. Oops, guess he said that out loud if the looks from his six siblings as well as every villain the room was giving him.

"Excuse me?" The master-mind-boss-person asked, giving the medium a look of confusion and offence at being interrupted.

"Oops, but I'm not really sorry." Klaus replied, might as well go with it and hope his siblings can use this to some advantage but now that he said it, he can't keep it back any more. "I mean, honestly, have you looked in the mirror? Did you honestly think you should have gone with that as your hairstyle for this?"

The villain just continued to stare. "Excuse me?" They repeated.

Klaus sighed, slouching in his bonds. "Oh, honney, where do I start? Like, I get you wanted to make a statement and all, your outfit clearly shows that-which don't even get me started on that-but you could have done it in a completely different and much better way."

"What are you talking about?! I don't need you to critique my appearance!" She screamed.

"Well, someone has to because you obviously have no sense of style." Klaus huffed.

"You have no right to talk to me like this!" They screamed, storming to stand before where Klaus was being held captive. Out of her view, Five and Diego were quick to start to take advantage of the distraction. "Not while I have the almighty Umbrella Academy on their knees before me!"

"Ok, look, I would be more intimidated, but I don't even remember your name." Klaus admitted causing the villain's face to flush bright red in anger. You'd think he'd be more concerned right now but he couldn't take his gaze away from that nest this woman was calling her hair. "Did I say that out loud as well? This time, I'm only a little sorry for that."

"It's Dr. Robotisist!" The villain screamed.

"Oh, that explains the supper techy robots." Klaus hummed, looking at the robots that had been created solely for the purpose of restraining the superpowered team. He really doesn't remember how they were supposed to work, something about being able to paralyze all of them through the light making it impossible for things like teleportation or super-strength or using an invisible force that came from your emotions and sound. Honestly, he was just listing of their powers, he really didn't remember how it worked but if the movement from out of the corner of his eye was anything, then it wasn't very effective.

"Well, your outfit certainly doesn't help me remember your name." Klaus huffed. "I mean, it makes a statement, but its a bad one. You could have done so much better."

"Why you-!" She didn't get any further before she slumped forward unconscious. Klaus looked down at her before smiling up at his brother who stood before him with a raised eyebrow.

"We're free!" Klaus exclaimed as he stood up, his own robot having been destroyed by Vanya's powers along with all the others.

"It's not like it was a question of getting free." Five scoffed as he kicked one of the downed robots. "I mean, clearly by trying to prepare all of her robots to catch all of us instead of designating a robot to each of us, she was unable to create an efficient trap for each of us. With each of our abilities being different in some way, some of the data was bound to counteract each other. It was flawed from the start."

"That was some distraction, though." Allison said with a smile, looking at Klaus.

Klaus shrugged. "Oh, you know, just thinking on the spot!"

Ben raised an eyebrow at him. "You were distracted by her hair from the start weren't you."

"What! No! I just thought it would be an easy way to distract her!"

"Right, so then what did she talk about before hand?"

"Oh...you know...evil, taking over the world stuff."

"Meaning you don't know."

"Look, she said a lot of words that didn't make a lot of sense to me, especially since I was attempting to multitask here."

A raised eyebrow.

"Look, even if I wasn't paying attention, the destruction worked and you all heard her anyway. No big deal!"

"Honestly, I didn't think of playing on her vanity as a way to distract her." Five said with a hum. "I mean, it crossed my mind but I thought that a woman who was decent in mechanics such as her would fall so low to be offended by her looks."

"Trust me, with how much time it looked like her hair must have taken, she would definitely have gotten offended by a bad comment on it." Klaus said before looking at Allison. "C'mon, back me up here sis!"

Allison hummed. "He's right, but I didn't take you as someone to emotionally manipulate someone, even if it is just hair."

"Hey, I can emotionally manipulate, right Ben? I did it with the crazy, time-travel people."

Ben crossed his arms. "I'm pretty sure that was my idea."

"Details." Klaus said, waving his hand dismissively.

"Look, as riveting as conversation seems to be, we should probably continue on with the mission." Five spoke up.

"Five's right." Luther spoke up and from there was directing orders once more.

Diego took a moment to pat Klaus on the shoulder and with a smirk said. "I knew your odd brain would help out eventually."

As he walked past, Klaus stared at him, mock-offense clearly on his face. "What do you mean eventually!? I have helped out a lot in the past! Diego!"

"Of course!"

"Diego! Hey, Diego! What do you mean of course!?"

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, that was that.  
Feel free to comment or anything else.  
Until next time! :D


End file.
